I know I should step back. I know things will grew worse. I know it is awfully dangerous. But still I’m here in the middle of the unforgiving night. There is a suppressed uncertainty within me. I shouldn’t be here all alone writing and getting drift away with my peace, when the whole world sleeps ignorantly.
May be this world doesn’t understands because I don’t want them to. May be I’m the fault after all and not them…
These sudden realizations made me even think more. Somewhere deep inside I’m exhausted, too shattered, too weak to hold out against it. May be I just need time to fully understand and process it all. May be I’m just getting carried away with all the things happening. Or may be I‘m just a spineless idiot after all.
Too frustrated, too disgusted, I feel like I need to look away. I really need to distract myself. At this very moment, it seems to be my only escape from these emotionless interrogatory voices inside my head. I still couldn’t believe that I have so many blames on me
This moment, so black, so dark, so pale, devoid of meaning nothing but a darker side of everything. The night is dark and vacuous.
Right now I feel like a lost pedestrian struggling to find my way through those busy streets, through those emotionless tough hearted people, through the ugly stares, and through the noise of amplifying animosity.
My eternal hate increases suddenly. And I question myself…
Why is it always so hard to adjust for me? Why can‘t I mind my own business like others?
Keeping apart all the questions that I have raised to myself..
Yes I’ve a problem with everything. Yes I’m weird, immature, a shitty mess. Yes I over react and people come and walk over me. Yes I’m emotional because I really can’t be mean to everything, atleast I’ve humanity that you guys lack in. Yes I’m a person who thinks I’m always right because I don’t see right anymore. All I see is wrong being defined as right and right being defined as wrong and seriously you expect me to be OKAY with that??
Ending on a very bad note….
But as my blog says Audacity to heal and live… So yeah….. May be one day or the other, everything will heal as if nothing happened… May be one day I’ll find a corner for myself to live in happily.. So yes.. Everything heals with time and people breathe and survive.